is going to miss the skins game. fuck.

is 11 miles closer to being free of the tons of xmas fattening he did

11 miles closer to being free of the tons of xmas fattening he did

is in a good place.

is madly in love with Jake Shears

thinks that perhaps he should not have eaten that pineapplel soaked in vodka for breakfast

is officialy ready for the Miami Marathon on January 27th and the ensuing debauchery

is a happy fatty.

is able to talk again.

is ready to have his voice back

is covered in glitter

is concerned that people are not gonna live to see (slash want to see) tomorrow after the improv holiday open bar.

is giving everyone flavored condoms for Christmas

is a snowflake

is hungover

is done with the rain

is standing on his head for a few hours, working for a few more, and then dancing with my road dogs at Town.

is looking for a Zahmbie Boyfriend. A guy who loves his brains and still treats him like a piece of meat.

is a happy fatty.

is Jolley. Also: Puja knows my dogs middle name.

is a stupid emo boy

is sad on the inside

is all about crushes but is *not* about hypnotists.

is all about crushes

is totally wanting to play with/eat Aquadots

is not sure he's fine with the fact that he doesn't wanna spend thanksgiving with small children.

is enjoying that normal woman look gigantic next to Posh

is thinking this is the longest he's gone without fucking since he was a virgin.

is on your radar

is still drunk I think

is a 3:56 marathon runner.

is a 3:57 marathon runner

is running the Marine Corps Marathon (#18835)!!

is listening to Brit Brit's new joint. (http://www.muchmusic.com/music/firstspin/britneyspears/)

is listening to music his ex-boyfriends once played for him. Marathon on Sunday.

on incredibly good behavior (read: restriction). The marathon is on Sunday... which means 7 days of naught.

on

dandy

feeling cocky and dangerous

all like no more zones, woo hoo.

pained. The Drag Race is the same day Jimmey Eat World's in town. Same time, too. So sad.

happy

gonna have to pretend to be a girl to run the Marine Corps Marathon. Again.

gonna get what he wants. Shoes.

dancing naked in his apartment. New Brit, New Kylie.

sore

maybe flying solo after work.

maybe flying solo after work.

fairly sure he's not drinking for a night, 'cause sleepin' til 4pm is laaaame

stoked about his new bed

horny

maybe getting a cold. Stupid scratchy throat.

in the middle of not much

glad he somehow avoided hangovertown on his trip into Thursday

the same age Biggie was when he died

going to have to get back into the swing of being a good boy

awful glad to have been so bad this weekend

ready to make a little money for a good cause

more than a little excited to see the pictures from last night

pretty sure he'd enjoy nude yoga

glad he found a box of old pictures

missin' puja

in this issue of Metro Weekly

surprisingly busy

bored after midnight. Stupid coffee.

totally DVRing the VMAs. I can't wait to see that bitches wig fly off. I love her.

tuned in, turned on and cell phone enabled. Watch your fingers, you might get burned.

really glad to be learning to live gently

home again, but still sans phone

stoked to be headed to the country, sexy rental car and all!

excited for Taint and Labor Day

listening to the new brit-brit single on repeat. Because he has no phone/life.

temporarily phoneless. Please pray for his sanity

totally conviced that relationships are bad for your health. Cholesterol.

glad that he finished his run even though he was up til dawn

being a good health & fitness fatty

yamma'd for life

wants a shirt that says "bio boy dick"

in desparate need of baggage claim handlers

somehow shocked that he doesn't own a bike.

finding the perfect marathon to maragarita equilibrium

home again, home again.

jetskiing.

tanner than you.

in South Beach

prepping for south beach and slightly bleary-eyed

No posts in way too long.

Its winter, and not much is going on. The cold long months have been punctuated by trips to Florida for game show auditions, drunken adventures in the snow (Snow Day!), and driving through life with the cruise control activated. Its not the most exciting exsistance, but I'm enjoying it.

Anywho, I stole this stupid gay-get-to-know-you from someone else's blog. I've got time to kill before I head into the comedy coal mine, so....


1. have you ever had sex with the opposite sex? Yes
2. who is the first person you came out to? Robyn or Caroline. It was the same day.
3. are you out to your parents? Yep.
4. do you want kids? Not yet, if ever.
5. do you have more gay friends or straight friends? Straight, by far.
6. were you out in school? Out-ish.
7. is your best friend the same sex as you? I've got a couple, but, yeah, the one I see most often is.
8. if your best friend is the same sex, have you ever kissed them? Tried once, I was drunk and he's straight. It was one of those so-drunk-I-couldn't-stand type deals. It made a great, if mortifying, story the next day.
9. have you ever done crystal meth? yep
10. have you ever been in a sling? Unfortch, nope.
11. have you ever done a 3-way? Yes. I like they say "done" a three way. Something about that phrasing seems awkward and unexperienced.
12. have you ever dressed in drag? I've had a dress on but no make up. The side burns would ruin the mystique.
13. would you ever date a drag queen? Hahaha, only if we could do clown porn. I seriously can't see that happening. I like dudes.
14. are you a top/bottom or truly versatile? I don't know anymore. Lets say depends on the chemistry, but typically a bototm. Its a true as we're gonna get.
15. have you seen an uncircumcised thingy? Of course.
16. have you had sex with someone of a different race? Yes
17. have you ever barebacked? Yes
18. how many cher cds do you own? Who owns CDs? (I've got the greatest hits hiding in itunes somewhere)
19. name your first true love? Aww, Phoenix Robles.
20. do you still talk to them? When he's in town.
21. does size matter? I think bein' a big boy makes it easier to be better. But if you're a pro, and at least big enough to hit my prostate, my money's on no, that shit don't matter.
22. biggest turn on? Smart, sly eyes
23. biggest turn off? Fat.
24. ever been harassed because you are gay? Nothing so terrible that its ruined me as a person 🙂
25. worst gay stereotype that applies to you? Stupid question. I live up to a bunch of stereotypes. I <3 Madonna.
26. ever been to a pride rally? Yep.
27. would you marry if you could? Ugh. He'd have to be a real pick.
28. would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful? I'm already smart, young, and beautiful. I'm starting to think that this quiz was written by some queen troglodyte who got sick of eatting billy goats from under his bridge. Whateves, I'd still take cash if we're just givin' it out.
29. do you sculpt your eyebrows? Puja likes it when I do.
30. do you trim your body hair? Sometimes I shave in a landing strip from between my pecs down to my cock. Sometimes I'm a twink, sometimes I'm an otter! You never know what you're gonna get when I strip.
31. ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Yep.
32. ever been to an orgy? We didn't calll it that. Something about "orgy" screams "TACKY" and "STD." But, uh, yeah.
33. have you dated your best friends ex? Nope, but I have dated a best friend!
34. would you vote for hilary clinton if she ran for president? Vauge.
35. do you want monogamy in your relationship? It depends on the relationship. Some ships just aren't built like that. I want whats healthiest for me at the time.
36. do you believe in true love? Awww, sometimes. Sometimes, very much so.
37. do you have any tattoos? Yep
38. do you have any piercings? Yep.
39. would you date a smoker? Its not a deal breaker.
40. do you know anyone who has died from h.i.v.? Yep, though its not as though they've been in my inner circle or anything.
41. do you know what stonewall was? I feel like this troll penned quiz is veering into the lovely land of condecension.
42. wonder woman, xena, or the halliwell sisters? Am I a traitor to my dear, dear DC? Gimmie the Halliwels.
43. strangest place you have had sex? Ball pit at McDonalds?
44. strangest place you’ve woken up? Oh my god, really? A basement in Glover Park? My own fire escape? The roof of that art gallery?
45. are your best years behind or in front of you? It doesn't work like that.
46. favorite porn movie? An American in Prauge
47. are you in love now? Aww, if I am, its certainly not still healthy 🙂
48. ever been in love with a straight guy/girl? Nope, not a one.
49. did you ever have sex with them? I've got issues with turning the straights. It works to create a gay-tinged "black male rapist myth."
50. have you ever been to a nude beach? Can't wait.
51. have you ever been to a bath house? I can't quite bring myself to do it.
52. ever had sex in public? Superfun.

I might truely have crossed into the pocked, unlevel terrain of full-on lush (Yeah, like this is my first foray into that territory. Moving on....). This morning, my mouth phleghmy and tooth-sweatered, I recalled bumming cigarettes last night outside of Townhouse. I adore smoking while I'm drinking, but I don't really ever do it otherwise. My ashtray mouth makes me wish I could have a Bar Locker at my favorite drinking holes filled with goods I only need on my nightly constitutions: a copy of Catchphrase, cigarettes, a lighter, and maybe some pot (though, maybe not). Gum might not be a bad addition, either.

And my dignity.

(11:08:00) Lurker Z H: I've gotta go to the gym
(11:08:06) TrvVn5: ok have fun
(11:08:07) Lurker Z H: I finished this shake, now I have no more excuses
(11:08:14) TrvVn5: no sex with strangers in the steam room

Assclown-- I don't think I ever told him why I don't have my old gym membership, either...

Good lord. I spent New Years working at the club like a champagne infused chimp.

I wonder if I could have been a 3 Olives flavor...

It went down quite spectacularly, New Years (not me), I mean. That's not an understatement- there may as well have been fireworks. The Brit came by the club and celebrated the actual stroke of midnight, much to my pleasure. Drunken shinanigans occured.

To be blunt about my evening/morning, this dumbass fatty drank until 9am. This means I went to bed at daybreakish and got back up after the sun had already set. I, to be fair, did go on a nice 16 mile run today to make up for my absolute sloth on Tuesday.