Combatting Overstimulation

Overstimulation often comes with lots of feelings and emotions. Irrational irritability. A short fuse. Half-cocked in the f-you position. Or maybe the deep desire to just be left the hell alone.

You know it’s happening when you’re trying to meditate, and every noise is a nuisance instead of a call to return to practice.

I often quote my friend Cory’s retelling of the “kitchen noise” as the monastery. When you’re a monk, all of that sound from the kitchen is dinner getting ready. What a joy to hear! And what a good reminder to get back into focus.

But when the sound of your next meal sounds like nails on the chalkboard, you know something’s up. We’re getting fed. That’s a joy.

So, great. You notice. Gold star. But what do you do about it?

Thank The Messenger

First, you thank the friend who told you that you were being a pill. If that friend was your own self-awareness, remember to thank yourself, then. Give yourself some credit. Most people sleepwalk through their reactivity. You caught it.

But often, as people in the world, we notice ourselves in reflection. Someone else’s face. A tone we didn’t mean to use. The silence after we snapped.

This means it’s time to start some self-care. It probably means alone time. This can be tough when you have others depending on you. You might start with some negative self-talk. Avoid this.

Self-Care Is Not What You Think It Is

We confuse self-care with vices constantly. Bruce Thao put it better than I can:

We live in a society where social service providers, organizers and those working in the non-profit sector are not valued. Where the norm is to be in survival mode, to be overworked and underpaid. And after we have worked a 12-hour day, put out 3 fires, submitted 4 grant proposals, cooked dinner and put the kids to bed, THEN we are allowed and expected to practice “self-care.” We are set up to fail. And so we turn to indulgences or vices as coping mechanisms — as our modalities of self-care. We binge eat at 10 PM because we haven’t had time to eat all day. We have 4 drinks at happy hour because we have to decompress from the work grind. We have a bottle of wine at home, alone, to feel some semblance of tranquility. And this, we justify, is what they were talking about when they said to practice self-care. But that is not self-care. That is applying tiger balm and a bandaid on a broken leg. It may feel good but it does not address the root of the issue.

Bruce Thao, from Self Care at Ashtanga Tech

So here’s what actually helps.

Remember The Science Of Feelings

When the emotions are outsized, it helps to remember that feelings are biochemical events. They have structure. They have duration. They pass. Understanding the machinery takes some of the teeth out of it.

Read: The Anatomy, Physiology & Biochemistry of Emotions

Get Grounded Through Meditation

I discovered this meditation first using the Calm app’s 30-day intro to meditation. My partner was beginning his meditation journey, and I found myself smitten with Jeff Warren’s meditations.

This little chestnut has served me very well. The meditation starts at 12:03 and runs 27 minutes. It’s called “The Mountain” — and it’s exactly what it sounds like. You become immovable. The weather happens around you. You stay.

Throw On Some Theta Waves

Sometimes you don’t need a guide. You need sound that asks nothing of you. Theta waves — the frequency your brain hits in deep meditation and light sleep — do the heavy lifting.

Two options depending on your mood:

Higher pitched:

Lower pitched:

Put on headphones. Both ears matter with binaural beats.

Take A Soak

Epsom salts. Despite the name, they aren’t like the stuff you put on your fries. They’re called salts because of their chemical structure — magnesium and sulfate. The name comes from a place in England where they’re found in natural springs.

You can find them in most drugstores, usually around the aspirin and laxatives. Many grocery and natural food stores carry them, too. A large box costs just a few dollars. They work for muscle aches, stress, sleep — all of it.

Read more: Epsom Salt Baths at WebMD

Hot water. Salts. No phone. Twenty minutes. That’s the whole prescription.

Use Your Breath

Pranayama techniques can get you amped up or chilled out. But when you’re overstimulated, sometimes even a balancing practice — or anything with a sharp edge — is too much. What you want here is cooling.

Explore: Cooling Pranayama Techniques

Sheetali. Sheetkari. Left-nostril breathing. These are the ones that take the temperature down without asking you to perform.

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Overstimulation isn’t a character flaw. It’s a signal. The practices exist. The hard part is remembering to use them before you’ve already said the thing you can’t take back.

Start with the one that sounds easiest. That’s the right one.