There is a seemingly never ending cycle of freezing, forgetting, and re- remembering that happens in this life.
If you make it in this world long enough, it all looks the same. Harder, faster, more gives way to the "thank god I'm still alive and have lungs to breathe." The hard truth is that if you make it long enough, all your old friends will be dead.
You've got to be ready to give it all back, or you'll just cry and cry and cry. Your best friend, your beautiful face, your Instagram identity.
I'll tell you a secret: 12 years ago, thoroughly off the deep end of grief, at the bottom of a drug fueled haze, I saw that the universe was made of love. I had lost my best friend in a tragic accident. I couldn't hold that much pain in my heart.
That was a long time ago now, I reckon. Heartbreakingly, in that span of time, I had forgotten her exact voice

Not so long ago, on a shamanic journey, my dead best friend came to me and told me to let go of all this sadness and pain. "nothing ever really dies," she said. "That's not how it works." I had already learned that lesson once. I can hear hear her voice again. "I push myself up through the dirt and shake my petals free. I'm resolved to being born again, and so resigned to bravery." -- Dar Williams