Eva Millet, writer: ‘The constant pursuit of perfection is a recipe for guilt, frustration and unhappiness’

Eva Millet discusses 'FAFO parenting,' a trend advocating that children learn from natural consequences rather than constant adult intervention. She argues that intensive parenting models—respectful, conscious, attachment—have created exhausting pressure on parents, especially mothers, by demanding perfection and leaving no room for error. The approach suggests letting children experience failure when safe, trusting their capacity to handle age-appropriate challenges without overprotection.

Teaching:
• Normalize mistakes in practice: students learn more from falling out of a pose and trying again than from constant micro-adjustments
• Cue less, trust more: give students space to discover their own edge rather than solving every wobble for them
• Frame frustration as data: when a student struggles with a transition, ask 'what did you notice?' instead of immediately fixing it
• Balance safety with autonomy: spot when necessary but let students explore their limits without hovering

Writing seeds:
• Essay: 'The Perfectionism Tax'—how chasing the ideal pose creates the same exhaustion as intensive parenting, and why practice is about iteration not perfection
• Shala Daily post: 'FAFO Yoga'—what happens when we let students fail safely in practice and why that builds resilience faster than constant correction
• Post: 'The Hyperparenting Problem in Yoga Culture'—how over-cueing and constant validation mirrors intensive parenting and prevents students from developing body literacy
• Essay: 'Natural Consequences on the Mat'—why letting students experience the result of misalignment (within safe bounds) teaches systems thinking better than verbal intervention

Idea map:
• Systems literacy requires failure: students must experience cause-and-effect in their bodies to understand how the practice works, not just be told
• Attention economy: constant intervention (verbal cueing, adjustments) trains dependence rather than self-sensing and embodied intelligence
• Practice as method vs. practice as performance: FAFO parenting parallels letting practice be messy exploration rather than pursuing the perfect execution
• Embodiment through autonomy: trusting students to navigate consequences builds proprioceptive feedback loops that external correction cannot

Source: https://english.elpais.com/lifestyle/2026-08-01/eva-millet-writer-the-constant-pursuit-of-perfection-is-a-recipe-for-guilt-frustration-and-unhappiness.html