Things You Notice on a Drunk Walk Home

Gosh, once upon a laxidazical, the idea of a lounge and a dentist’s office were wholly disparate notions. Alas and anon those days are gone. On a drunken stumble home, I noticed that Exhale Club and Lounge (motto: “Come in and Exhale”) was literally within two feet of an emergency dental office. The proximity conjured to mind other venues that maybe shouldn’t necessarily be so close: Amphetamines and glass blowers; ketamine and cat hospitals... that sort of thing. I expect more from my Adams Morgan, frankly! Adams Morgan should provide Cocain and Chimay; Sparks and Darvocet. Big Slice Pizza and self induced vomiting. But that’s it.

For all cotangled crackheadings, I am still glad that I can be honorable and worth knowing to a variety of people who have seen me falling down drunk (or otherwise out of my ever loving mind) in a massive way. Especially if those people caught that same state within a day of each other (re: I have a black eye still). At my most embarrassed for myself, its good to know that those friends who got to see you at that point of inebriation will still ask for your company to a movie or your company as a roommate, should they need it. All within two days of making an ass of yourself. Thank goodness.

I remember a thing from back in grade school when I was being bullied: negative attention and positive attention. Guidance counselors can’t be wrong– and a car that stalks me for two blocks, rolls down its window and has its driver shout to me “You need a ride” is clearly one of those aforementioned types. I’m gonna guess its negative, but I still like to think of it as postive... Without a valid quandary, I am left with two immediate and disparate thoughts: reach for your mace; be flattered. Both are equally valid, if not good. Important, if not right, as well as honest enough to each column of thought to allow myself pride and pleasure in going on my own skippy way. Without the ride.

I made it home safely last night.